


i knew from the first time (i'd stay for a long time)

by sonderess



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Explicit Sexual Content, Light Pining, M/M, No Angst, Parties, Switching, TA!Doyoung, doyoung just wants to make it through grad school, jaehyun likes being called baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24178591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonderess/pseuds/sonderess
Summary: When Jaehyun walks into his psychology class on Monday morning, he doesn’t expect the TA to be so damn attractive. He also doesn’t expect him to be the same man he took home from the bar last weekend, but apparently the universe has a twisted sense of humor.alternatively: Jaehyun accidentally fucks his TA, then not so accidentally does it again.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 96
Kudos: 729





	i knew from the first time (i'd stay for a long time)

**Author's Note:**

> grad student doyoung is the Superior Concept™ and i will never get over it.
> 
> **minor warning/disclaimer** : there are hints of d/s dynamics at the beginning, but i mean it when i say this is very light and short-lived. while i wanted them to have an interesting dynamic during sex and def played around with that a bit, i didn't want to experiment too much with sexual power dynamics because of the fact that there is a slight power imbalance due to Doyoung's status as a TA. it should be said that both parties are enthusiastically consenting adults, and there is no coercion or misuse of power whatsoever. this is a light story, i promise! 
> 
> unbeta'd but i edited this so much i drove myself crazy, so i'm finally posting it for sanity's sake. any mistakes are my own. that's it for now, so please enjoy!

This time it’s not even Taeyong's fault that Jaehyun finds himself sitting comfortably at their usual bar, nursing his second beer of the night. His last year of college begins in a few days, entailing mind-numbing amounts of stress and actually figuring out what he's going to do with his life. For now, he'd rather sit alone with his worries about the future than talk to his friends about it.

Johnny's bartending tonight, although he's busy with enough customers that he can't pay too much attention to Jaehyun. So Jaehyun sits and wallows, sipping his drink and casually surveying the bar around him. It's not quite as packed as it will be when the school-year officially kicks off, but Jaehyun still recognizes several regulars. He had stayed in the city this summer to work, as did Johnny, Yuta, and Taeyong. Taeyong liked to use the fact that they all wanted to get blasted on the weekends as an excuse to visit Johnny at work, so it's safe to say that Jaehyun has become intimately acquainted with this establishment and many of its patrons.

Which is why he turns his head when an unfamiliar-looking guy slides into the seat two stools away from him, flagging Johnny down immediately to order a drink. He's tall and handsome, to say the least, but the leather jacket is what really does it for Jaehyun.

"You're too cute to be drinking alone."

The words are out of Jaehyun's mouth before he can think twice, and he inwardly winces at how forward he sounds.

The man looks at him, unimpressed. "Really? That's the best you got?"

"I thought I'd keep it simple and straight to the point."

The man snorts, twisting in his leather jacket to properly face Jaehyun, who's currently wondering why he opened his mouth in the first place.

"Okay, I suppose I can respect that. What is the point, may I ask?"

"Well, my thought process was that I could have an existential crisis about how cute you are, or I could go back to my original existential crisis about how I'm starting my last year of college and I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life, so I figured you were probably the safer bet."

The man really laughs this time, a look of pleasant surprise replacing the frown on his face. "What's your name?"

"Jaehyun."

"Well Jaehyun, I suppose it wouldn't hurt me to have a drinking companion for tonight."

Jaehyun slips one seat over so he's sitting right next to the guy, who seems to get more and more gorgeous the closer he looks. He signals to Johnny, who smirks and slides him another beer. Jaehyun ignores the look on Johnny's face and turns back around to face the handsome stranger.

"Cheers," he says, holding his glass up.

The man meets his gaze and smirks. "Cheers." 

_Fuck_.

Jaehyun's night just got a little more interesting.

***

The man's name is Doyoung, he's a grad student from Gyeonggi, and he's nervous about starting his first year of law school next week. But none of that seems important right now as Jaehyun fumbles to get his apartment door open and pushes Doyoung against the wall, immediately fitting his mouth over Doyoung's and kissing him senseless. Doyoung groans into his mouth, wrapping his arms around Jaehyun's neck and drawing him even closer until Jaehyun can hardly breathe. Doyoung licks into his mouth, and Jaehyun gasps at the heat that flares up low in his belly.

"Fuck. Wanted this the second I saw you."

"I know baby," Doyoung murmurs, pressing another long kiss to his lips. Jaehyun's heart stutters, and his breath hitches involuntarily. Doyoung raises a knowing eyebrow. It's rare that anyone ever calls Jaehyun that, but Doyoung seems to have pinpointed his weakness without even trying.

"Baby," Doyoung repeats, gaze a little harder, yet still playful. "Knew from the moment you opened your mouth that you would beg for my cock so easy. It would look so pretty in your mouth, don't you think?"

Jaehyun feels as though he's just gotten the wind knocked out of him. Most of his sexual partners, both boys and girls, automatically assume that he wants to be in control during sex. And while his preferences are pretty versatile in that regard, it's been so long since someone spoke to him like this. Fuck, he's missed it.

"Yeah," he whispers. " _I'd_ look so pretty. Just for you."

Doyoung swears under his breath. "C'mon, where's your room?"

They make it to Jaehyun's room in a tangle of kisses and moans. Dimly, Jaehyun sends a quick thank you to whatever higher powers might exist that Yuta isn't home to make fun of him and interrupt their night together. He hasn't wanted anyone this badly in a while.

Doyoung's eyes darken as he watches Jaehyun slip his shirt over his head. He flushes, feeling the weight of Doyoung's gaze move up and down his body.

"God, I knew you'd be buff," Doyoung says appreciatively, stepping forward to curl his fingers under the waistband of Jaehyun's jeans. His tongue catches Jaehyun's nipple, and Jaehyun hisses at the sensation.

"Sensitive," he mumbles. Doyoung merely hums in acknowledgement as he moves to the other nipple, pressing butterfly kisses all over his chest. He fiddles with the button on Jaehyun's jeans, tugging them down until Jaehyun is wearing nothing but his boxers.

He allows himself to be guided to the bed, Doyoung only breaking their kisses to shrug off his leather jacket and shirt. Doyoung pulls him onto his lap, and Jaehyun hisses at the feeling of his cock meeting the rough denim of Doyoung's jeans.

"That's it baby," Doyoung murmurs as Jaehyun begins to circle his hips against Doyoung's. "Bet you could cum just like this, couldn't you?"

Jaehyun thinks he's probably right, with how taut his muscles are, how wound up he is from Doyoung's touches that almost light him on fire with their warmth and intensity. But he shakes his head in disagreement.

"Don't wanna," he mumbles. "Wanna cum on your cock."

"Speak up baby," Doyoung teases. "I don't think I heard you the first time."

Jaehyun rolls his eyes. He scoots his way down the bed until his face is very close to Doyoung's crotch and lightly bites down on the fabric of his jeans. Doyoung hisses in surprise. His eyes grow hazy with desire as Jaehyun mouths at his cock through his jeans.

"I already told you," Jaehyun says, unbuttoning Doyoung's jeans and getting a hand on his cock, "I'm gonna look so pretty for you." And with that, he lowers his mouth and gets to work.

Doyoung's cock is a comforting weight on his tongue. Jaehyun licks the tip, flicking at the slit before suckling kisses up and down the sides. Doyoung moans, a throaty sound that sends a shiver down Jaehyun's spine. He takes Doyoung's cock into his mouth more fully this time, and Doyoung swears as he begins moving his head up and down. His mouth feels stuffed full, just the way he likes it.

"You look so fucking good on my cock," Doyoung growls when Jaehyun starts moaning around him. Jaehyun lifts his eyes and whines, mouth still full of cock, and he swears a full-bodied shudder runs through Doyoung's body as the other man meets his eyes.

"What are you doing to me," Doyoung murmurs, looking at Jaehyun as if he just hung the moon or accomplished something equally as astonishing.  
"Sucking your dick," Jaehyun pulls off his cock to say, and Doyoung snorts in response. He slides down Doyoung's cock again and hollows his mouth. Doyoung lets him go at it for a few minutes, carding his hand lightly through Jaehyun's hair. But when Jaehyun sucks particularly hard, he hisses in dissent, pulling a reluctant Jaehyun off his dick.

"I'm too close," he explains.

"So soon?" It's Jaehyun's turn to tease.

Doyoung shakes his head in amazement. "You have a strange effect on me."

Jaehyun feels the same. Initially, Doyoung hadn't seemed too impressed by his lame attempts at flirting at the bar, but something had changed in the time between then and the moment Doyoung had agreed to come home with him. As they had gotten to know each other a little bit better over drinks, laughing and talking for the better part of two hours, the chemistry between them had grown. Doyoung started flirting back, the innuendos began, and now here they are, a little delirious and already desperate for each other.

Jaehyun fumbles around his bedside table for lube, leaning back against the headboard as Doyoung sits on the opposite end of his bed. Doyoung is down to his boxers now too, and Jaehyun can see the obvious outline of his erection straining underneath.

"Wanna watch me get myself ready for you?"

"Shit, I must have dreamed you up," Doyoung shakes his head incredulously. "You're unbelievable, baby."

Jaehyun circles a lubed finger around his rim, testing the waters as he gently slips the first finger in. He stills briefly, adjusting to the sensation, and locks eyes with Doyoung.

"Open yourself up for me," Doyoung murmurs.

So Jaehyun does.

He goes slow, never taking more than he can handle at a given time. A part of him feels small under Doyoung's attentive gaze, a little vulnerable being laid out so pretty for the other man. But he also feels powerful knowing he has this effect on Doyoung, who watches him almost reverently as he fucks himself on his fingers.

It's a strange paradox. The resulting current of pleasure that runs through his bloodstream leaves him breathless, head hazy with want.

It's only when he's three fingers deep, hand moving faster as his fingers curl inside him that Doyoung puts a hand on his knee to slow him down. He gets the message, easing his fingers out and pulling Doyoung down for a kiss, grinding their bodies together as he tries to achieve some sort of friction for his aching cock.

"Eager," Doyoung teases. "You ready for my cock baby?"

"I need to sit on your dick, like, yesterday."

He expects a sharp response, but instead Doyoung just starts laughing. It's really not that funny, but a genuine smile breaks across his face and soon Jaehyun is laughing too.

"I'm serious," he whines, shifting impatiently underneath Doyoung.

"I know you are baby," Doyoung grins.

The sexual tension softens, and Jaehyun's head feels a little less floaty. More grounded, here in the moment, relaxing into Doyoung's touch. The want is still there of course, simmering low and sweet. But the desperation lessens, and his narrow focus on getting off turns into a desire to actually savor this experience with Doyoung.

"Are all hookups this fun?" Jaehyun wonders out loud. "Because I'm having fun."

Doyoung laughs again, delightedly. "I would be concerned if you weren't having fun," he says gently. "But it's nice to get some confirmation that you're enjoying this as much as I am."

It's Jaehyun's turn to grin up at him. Doyoung kisses him softly in response, licking gently into his mouth as they lose themselves in the warmth of each other.

"You know what would make me enjoy this even more?" Jaehyun asks after a few minutes.

"I have a few ideas," says Doyoung dryly.

"Good, you catch on quickly. Condoms are in the bathroom cabinet."

Doyoung gives him a quizzical look. "You keep lube in your room but not condoms?"

"I don't need condoms when I jack off," Jaehyun reasons. Doyoung snorts as he steps out into the hall, darting into the bathroom Jaehyun shares with Yuta.

"How do you want to do this?" he asks upon returning.

"Can I ride you?"

"God yes."

Doyoung rolls the condom on, and Jaehyun gently lowers himself down. Doyoung presses light kisses on his neck in encouragement as he bottoms out, adjusting to the foreign sensation. It's been a while since he was on this end of things.

"That's it baby," Doyoung whispers. "You're so good for me."

Jaehyun rolls his hips in response, setting a fast pace as he fucks down on Doyoung's cock. He feels so full, the heat between them setting his whole body on fire. It's so much, and yet it's not enough. He wants more. If the way Doyoung looks is anything to go by, he feels the same way. Sweat drips down his face, his body taut and eyes ablaze.

"So fucking good, holy shit," Doyoung growls. Something primal curls up in Jaehyun at the rasp of his voice, and he clenches around Doyoung’s cock. Doyoung’s grip on his hips tightens in response, and Jaehyun loses himself in the feeling. 

His legs start to get sore after a while, so Doyoung flips him over and slides into him in one smooth thrust. His movements turn sultrier, slower and more pronounced. He brings his forehead to Jaehyun's as he fucks effortlessly into him, and Jaehyun feels him in every cell in his body. Each thrust is excruciating, in the best way. He never has slow sex with hookups — it feels a little too intimate, too far outside the realm of using each other to get off— but he's enjoying this with every fiber of his being, definitely more than he should.

But impatience overtakes him eventually. "Faster," he demands, jerking his hips up to meet Doyoung's. "Harder, fuck, I need it.” He watches Doyoung’s abdomen flex as he pounds into him. 

"Fuck," Doyoung swears. "I'm close."

He wraps a hand around Jaehyun's cock and jerks him off, speeding his thrusts up to match the motion of Jaehyun's hips. Jaehyun doesn’t even recognize the sound that comes out of his mouth, too overwhelmed by the stimulation.

"I got you baby," Doyoung murmurs into his neck. "Cum for me."

And Jaehyun does. His orgasm hits him like a freight train and for a moment he understands what people mean when they talk about seeing stars. His whole body arches off the bed and he sobs as he feels Doyoung tense above him, shuddering through his own orgasm. 

His body twitches through the aftershocks of pleasure as Doyoung slowly pulls out and falls onto the bed next to him. 

They lie there for several moments, catching their breaths. 

"What the fuck." Jaehyun is the first to break the silence. "Where did you come from and where have you been all my life?"

Doyoung laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. "I have no idea what just happened, but I need it to happen again."

Jaehyun wholeheartedly agrees. He slings an arm around Doyoung and allows the post-orgasm haze to wash over them as they cuddle. Jaehyun can’t recall cuddling being a part of his post-sex routine with any previous flings, but he doesn’t quite know what Doyoung is to him at this point. His brain is a little too hazy to think about anything other than basking in the presence of the beautiful boy beside him.

Whenever he sleeps with someone he’s not in a relationship with, he’s used to the slight awkwardness that often ensues after the afterglow of sex subsides. But when it comes time, he and Doyoung clean each other up and get dressed comfortably. And if he almost gets turned on again at the sight of Doyoung slipping on his leather jacket, well, nobody needs to know.

Doyoung doesn't stay, but he pulls Jaehyun into a quick kiss, which turns into a long one, and then another, when Jaehyun walks him to the door.

"Give me your number," he says when their lips part.

Jaehyun relaxes. "I wasn't sure if you wanted this to be a one-time thing," he says as he creates a new contact in Doyoung's phone.

"I'd be a fool to let this kind of chemistry go to waste," Doyoung shakes his head with a smile. "Thank you for a great night. I'll text you soon."

And with one last kiss, he's gone. 

Jaehyun shuts the door behind him and screams into the empty apartment.

***

As it turns out, soon comes faster than Jaehyun thinks. 

He really didn't expect to have an aneurysm this early in the morning, but apparently luck is not on his side today.

The 10 am psychology lecture he just stumbled into is already full, and he hurriedly scans the room for an empty seat. He zeros in on the only one he can spot: second row, about halfway down the aisle. Fuck. The perfect seat for him to be sitting in the direct line of sight of none other than Doyoung. And it's just Jaehyun's luck that Doyoung isn't sitting down with the rest of the other students in the lecture hall. Instead, he's at the front of the room standing behind the professor, holding a stack of papers and tapping his foot impatiently. His leather jacket from last weekend has been replaced with a crisp blue button-down and a focused, no-nonsense expression. And he's wearing glasses. God, this is terrible for Jaehyun's health.

Jaehyun is in the middle of praying that Doyoung isn't who he thinks he is when his professor clears her throat and proceeds to shatter all of his hopes and dreams.

"Good morning everyone. My name is Professor Lee Dae-mi and welcome to General Psychology. With me here is my TA Kim Doyoung. While I will be leading in-class lectures, he will be grading your assignments and leading review sessions for exams. He's a graduate student studying law, but he majored in psychology in undergrad, so he'll be a great resource should you need help with the material."

Jaehyun slumps low in his seat, cursing his luck. The universe seems to have a fucked up sense of humor, because not only is Doyoung probably extremely off limits now, but he looks just as good in his business casual outfit as he does in a leather jacket, and really that's just unfair.

Doyoung bows to the class and scans the room, as Jaehyun's professor continues her introduction to the course. It doesn't take long for his eyes to land on Jaehyun, and he visibly blanches. He quickly schools his face into a remarkably neutral expression, but Jaehyun can sense the internal panic in his eyes. He averts his gaze, prompting Doyoung to do the same, and he tries to slow down his heart rate as Doyoung begins passing copies of the syllabus around the room.

The rest of the class consists of Jaehyun completely forgetting to pay attention to his professor, instead hyper-focused on Doyoung's every move. When his professor concludes her talk, Jaehyun immediately checks his phone, finding a single text in his notifications.

**Maybe: Doyoung**  
_It's Doyoung. We need to talk_.

**Jaehyun**  
_Yeah we do_

**Doyoung**  
_Outside. 5 minutes._

When Doyoung meets him outside the lecture hall, he looks stressed, although Jaehyun can tell he's trying to appear calm and collected on the surface. He's about to deliver the speech he's been rehearsing in his head for the last hour, but Doyoung doesn't even give him a chance to open his mouth.

"When you said you were a fourth-year, I really didn't expect you to be taking an intro level psychology class," he hisses.

"I pushed off a couple GE requirements until now," Jaehyun says. "Besides, how was I supposed to know this would happen? I signed up for Professor Lee's class, not yours."

Doyoung deflates slightly, but his gaze remains cool and hard. Jaehyun can’t help but notice the contrast between this and the way Doyoung looked at him last weekend, eyes warm and full of light. 

"I can't have you telling anyone about this,” he sighs. “I grade your exams, it simply wouldn't be appropriate—"

"I get it," Jaehyun interrupts. "I'm not going to destroy your reputation over a one-night stand.” He winces as the words come out of his mouth. “ It was bad luck for both of us, but I promise I won't make your life difficult. I'll just be a student to you from now on."

A surprised look passes over Doyoung's face. "Well. That was certainly easier than I thought it was going to be." He doesn't look like he fully believes Jaehyun, but he seems to accept his answer for the time being.

"I'm not an asshole, Doyoung. As much as I enjoyed our night together, I'm not going to use it against you."

Inadvertently, Doyoung's gaze travels downward and stops at his lips, as if remembering the way Jaehyun kissed him last weekend. He quickly realizes his mistake, meeting Jaehyun's eyes once more. Jaehyun would laugh if the circumstances were different.

"Thank you," Doyoung says softly, after a moment. "I really thought this conversation would be a lot worse. I'll treat you as I would any other student in the class, but please know that I do appreciate your professionalism about this matter."

"Sure," Jaehyun manages. Privately, he still wants to back Doyoung into the nearest available wall and make out with him for all of eternity, but he understands the gravity of the situation. Even though Doyoung isn't actually his professor, he could still be hurt if this got out.

"I'll see you on Wednesday then, for class," Doyoung says.

Jaehyun nods. "See you then." Doyoung turns away, stopping to give him one last perfunctory glance before disappearing around the corner.

Jaehyun sighs.

It's going to be a long semester.

***

Jaehyun's back at the same bar, except this time Yuta, Taeil, and Taeyong are with him and they're all trying to get as tipsy as possible without actually getting drunk. Johnny is bartending again tonight, a fact that certainly doesn't escape Taeyong's notice. Jaehyun snorts in amusement watching his friend internally freak out every time Johnny is close by.

It's the end of the third week of the semester, and they're all trying to let loose now that the stress of college is finally catching up to them. Three weeks of senior year down. Three weeks of pretending that he's not still hung up on Doyoung. Three weeks of jacking off to the memory of Doyoung's cock in his ass. Yeah, Jaehyun's not proud of that last one.

"Dude," Yuta says, interrupting his train of thought. "You look way too sober." He calls Johnny over and orders Jaehyun another drink.

"Good to see you Jaehyun," Johnny says easily as he hands Jaehyun his third beer of the night. "Did you have fun the other night?"

"What's he talking about?" asks Yuta.

Johnny smirks. "Oh, did Jaehyun not tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Yuta's voice carries, causing Taeyong and Taeil to look up from their conversation in interest. Johnny smirks, as if his mission has been accomplished, and goes back to his duties behind the bar.

"What did Jaehyun do?" Taeil asks.

"Oh my god, he totally hooked up with someone," Taeyong snorts.

Yuta shrieks, and Jaehyun hurriedly shushes him, looking around the bar. No one is paying them any attention, but still.

"Dude, it's not that big of a deal. Yeah, I brought a guy home, but that's it. End of story."

"Was he any good? Are you going to see him again?"

"Yeah, he was good, but I think it was a one-time thing."

Yuta seems to realize that he's not going to be able to pry any more details out of Jaehyun, so the conversation shifts to Taeyong, who visibly blushes anytime Johnny looks in his direction.

"You ever going to do anything about Johnny?" Taeil nudges him playfully.

"Shut the fuck up, he's right there," Taeyong hisses.

"This is the thirstiest I've ever seen you for someone," Jaehyun teases.

Yuta snorts. "Taeyongie's always had a thing for boys twice his size." Taeyong shrugs, not denying it.

"Our little size queen," Taeil quips. The rest of them laugh, but a faraway look appears on Taeyong's face.

"I bet he's huge," Taeyong sighs dreamily.

Jaehyun bangs his head against the counter and groans.

***

As it turns out, he doesn't have much interaction with Doyoung over the next few weeks. He doesn't come to Jaehyun's psychology class every week, as his help isn't always needed, and most of his tasks like grading assignments don't need to be done in class. Jaehyun's not sure whether or not to be thankful for this. On one hand, he doesn't have to be tortured by the awkwardness of being in Doyoung's presence, but on the other, he misses having the opportunity to stare at Doyoung's face, as if he isn't the hottest guy Jaehyun's ever laid eyes on.

It's not until his first psychology exam is approaching that he finally sees Doyoung again. He had received an email from his professor saying that Doyoung would be holding a review session for the midterm in one of the study rooms in the library, and after much contemplation he decides to go. It's not that the material is too difficult, but the test requires a good amount of memorization, which Jaehyun has always been shit at.

So that's how he finds himself in the library on a Tuesday afternoon with about thirty of his classmates, furiously taking notes as Doyoung goes over the study guide for the midterm.

Doyoung, true to his word, treats him as he would any other student. He answers Jaehyun's questions when he raises his hand, showing no sign that he knows Jaehyun outside of class. Jaehyun does the same, although he occasionally catches himself checking out Doyoung's ass whenever he turns around to write something on the whiteboard.

When the review session ends, Jaehyun feels like he has a pretty good grasp of the material, but he realizes that he forgot to ask one last question. Another student is talking to Doyoung, so Jaehyun waits patiently as the rest of the students trickle out of the session. After the student leaves, he realizes that he and Doyoung are the only two people left in the room. He feels a slight flush creep up his neck at the thought.

"Hey, I forgot to ask earlier but could you go over the different types of schedule reinforcement?"

"Oh, I must have skipped that on the study guide," Doyoung frowns. "Of course. Would you like to sit down for a moment?"

So Jaehyun sits, trying to ignore the tingly sensation in his stomach as Doyoung carefully explains the concepts. It doesn't help that Doyoung is wearing the softest-looking oversized hoodie that Jaehyun's ever seen. He has to fight hard to focus on the words coming out of Doyoung's mouth instead of the fact that he wants to cuddle him so much his heart aches. Jaehyun can admit that he doesn't know Doyoung all that well, only knows his body and some basic facts about him. But he does know how he felt when Doyoung kissed him the night they met. And getting to see Doyoung in his element—teaching and discussing intellectual topics—only solidifies his intuitive sense that Doyoung has many layers to him that are worth his attention and exploration, that he would be a fool to let this go completely.

"Jaehyun?" Doyoung's voice cuts through his thoughts, bringing him back to the present. "Does that make sense?"

"Oh yeah," Jaehyun nods, although truthfully he only caught about half of the explanation. "Thanks for explaining it to me."

"No problem. That's my job," Doyoung says, as if Jaehyun could forget.

There's an awkward pause as they look up at each other. Doyoung seems to be studying his face carefully, although he can't fathom why. Before he can stop himself, he's opening his mouth.

"Look," he says in a rush, "I meant it when I said I'm not going to hold what happened between us over your head. But maybe when the semester's over, we could grab a drink?" he trails off uncertainly.

Doyoung's face shutters, and Jaehyun's stomach plummets into instant regret.

"Jaehyun," he sighs. "I can't answer that."

"Oh," Jaehyun mumbles. "I'm sorry I asked."

Doyoung sighs again. "Look, it's not you. I just can't be promising drinks to students. I know it may seem to you like I'm taking this whole situation too seriously, but grad school is expensive and I can't afford to compromise my integrity or my job. I hope you can understand that."

"I do. I won't bother you about it again."

"I'm sorry. Good luck on your exam," Doyoung says, not unkindly.

Jaehyun nods shortly, recognizing a dismissal when he sees one. He takes a deep breath as soon as he's out of the room, and lets the disappointment wash over him. He gets Doyoung's perspective completely. It just sucks that Jaehyun still wants him, no matter how hard he tries to let it go.

***

Jaehyun devotes himself to his studies over the next several weeks, including the daunting task of trying to figure out life after graduation. He still thinks about Doyoung, and what could have been, but he's got a better handle on his thoughts and feelings now. He's proud of himself for staying focused on the bigger picture, and he's trying out this new idea of trusting that if Doyoung's meant to come back into his life, he will.

"Have you been reading self-help books lately?" asks Yuta, who's lounging on the couch in their living room as Jaehyun tells him about his new life philosophy.

"Just something I picked up online. I've been doing a lot of research on what makes people successful these days. They say mindset is everything."

"I don't doubt it," Yuta yawns as he reaches for the TV remote. "My mindset is that I've had a long ass week and I deserve to relax now."

Jaehyun snorts, pulling out his laptop to search for job postings. After a meeting with his academic counselor and a Youtube binge of inspirational TED talks, he's been more motivated than ever to get clearer on what he wants moving forward.

"Hey," Yuta says, pulling up his anime show on the screen. "You seem more focused lately. Happier. It's a good look on you."

"Thanks," Jaehyun says. "I feel pretty good. Thanks for noticing."

"I notice everything," Yuta smirks. "Which is why I can't help but think there must be some reason behind it."

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well," Yuta drawls, "I would say that you're getting laid, except you don't really have that sex glow and I don't think you're seeing anyone right now. So my next guess is that you're trying to get over someone or something by focusing on self-improvement."

Damn Yuta for knowing Jaehyun too well. "How the fuck did you do that?" Jaehyun sputters indignantly.

"Do what, read you like an open book?"

"At least I'm trying to get my life together and put my energy in a positive direction," Jaehyun defends.

"Hey, I'm all for healthy coping mechanisms," Yuta holds his hands up in surrender. "But I'm also your best friend, which means I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. So, are you ever going to tell me what exactly you're trying to distract yourself from?"

Jaehyun sighs. He knew he was going to have to tell Yuta something eventually. "Yeah, I guess so. Do you remember that guy I hooked up with at the beginning of the semester? The one Johnny mentioned when we were at the bar that one time?"

"Yeah, you didn't say much about him though, just that he was a pretty good lay but you probably weren't going to see him again."

"Well I sort of lied," Jaehyun admits. "He was probably one of the best I've ever had, but I can't be with him."

Yuta whistles lowly. "Wow, best you've ever had? That’s high praise coming from you."

"I don't know, we just clicked so well together. He took such good care of me, and I actually felt excited about the possibility of seeing him again. He was interested too, but some circumstances came up and he can't be with me right now."

Yuta hums thoughtfully. "Right now? Is there a possibility that he could be with you in the future?"

"I don't know," Jaehyun answers truthfully. "I want to say maybe, but honestly I don't think so. He's made it pretty clear that it can't happen, and I understand why. So I've been trying to focus on myself. I've got more important things to worry about than boys, especially with graduation coming up in six months."

"Well that's true at least," Yuta sighs. "God knows everyone who's graduating this year is stressed the fuck out. But that sucks. I'm sorry dude."

Jaehyun shrugs. "Nothing I can do about it. But I figure it's better to actually focus on my life instead of drinking myself into a depression over a guy. Been there, done that. Never again."

"Seriously," Yuta says in agreement. "We drank so much back then. Our alcohol tolerance was so much better sophomore year."

"As if you didn't get blasted almost every weekend this summer," Jaehyun rolls his eyes.

Yuta snorts and turns back to his anime, and Jaehyun ponders their conversation. He has enough self-awareness to admit that the desire for distraction has probably played at least a small role in his newfound motivation to get his life together, but he doesn't think it's a bad thing. Sure, this kind of energy probably won't last forever, but he thinks it's okay to roll with it for now if it means good things will happen for him.

Even with all of the introspection, he's in a good mood for all of the following week. He decides to treat himself to coffee from the on-campus coffee shop after his Friday morning class, in celebration of the weekend. He's just turning around from the pick-up counter, coffee in hand, when he makes eye contact with none other than Kim Doyoung.

"Hi Jaehyun," Doyoung says pleasantly. "Nice to see you again." He's wearing an argyle sweater vest and his glasses, and Jaehyun kind of wants to cry about how adorable he looks.

"Hey," Jaehyun returns. "How's it going?" He hopes that he looks more calm than he feels.

They exchange pleasantries while Doyoung waits for his coffee.

"Any fun plans this weekend?" Doyoung asks him.

Jaehyun shakes his head. "Maybe I'll see a friend or two," he says. "So much work to do though."

Doyoung laughs lightly. "Tell me about it. I know you've got that psychology paper due in a week too."

"Oh shit, I still have to start that. Thanks for reminding me."

"Of course. Do you have a topic picked out?"

"I do," Jaehyun affirms. "But I'm glad I ran into you today, because I was actually going to ask if you have a little time in the next few days to sit down with me and talk through my points for the paper." To be fair, he actually does want a second opinion on his topic and to get a little direction on his paper, but he won't lie. Getting to spend more time with Doyoung is an added bonus.

"Oh," Doyoung looks slightly surprised. "Sure, I don't see why not." He tilts his head for a moment in thought. "I have some time between 3 and 4 on Monday afternoon, or between 9 and 10 on Tuesday morning. Could you meet at either of those times?"

"Monday afternoon works for me. Thanks for doing this, I appreciate it."

"I'm happy to help," Doyoung replies. The barista calls his name, and he turns to grab his coffee. He turns back to say goodbye, giving Jaehyun a small smile and a brief wave before exiting the coffee shop.

Jaehyun sips his coffee and waits for his heart rate to return to normal.

Fuck. He's screwed.

***

Monday comes quickly, and before he knows it he's sitting in a nook in the coffee shop with Doyoung, who's listening intently as Jaehyun explains his topic.

"Connecting the concepts you've learned about in class with the corporate field could make for a compelling paper," Doyoung muses. "You seem pretty interested in this. Is it something you're pursuing outside of this class?"

Jaehyun nods. "I was really stressed out about what I wanted to pursue, but recently I've felt motivated to explore career paths and hone my focus more. I'm thinking about corporate consulting, although I'm sure I'll need to get experience in a company first."

"What made you interested in that?" Doyoung seems genuinely interested in his response.

"Well, I'm a business major, so I'm taking a business ethics class right now. And we're talking a lot about how to run a business in a morally sound way, because so many companies don't. So I think it would be really rewarding to be in a position where I get to advise companies on how to better meet the needs of their employees and their clients without compromising either their profit or the well-being of others. I know that sounds like an interview answer," Jaehyun says sheepishly. "But it's gotten me really excited lately."

Doyoung waves him off. "Not at all. It's really great to see you talk about what you're passionate about, actually."

Jaehyun flushes. "Like I said, I obviously don't have everything figured out, which has been stressful. I don't think my other friends really get it."

"What do you mean?" Doyoung looks slightly concerned.

"I mean, obviously everyone who's graduating this year is stressed out in their own way, but my closest friends are on different paths than me. Yuta's getting his business degree so he can take over his family restaurant chain when he graduates, Taeyong's known that he's applying to grad school since freshman year, and Taeil already has a job lined up. It's different for me. I don't have any of that certainty."

Doyoung nods in understanding. "I remember feeling that way. Uncertainty is a scary thing to wrestle with."

"Did you always know you wanted to go to law school?"

"No way," Doyoung laughs. "I considered it at the beginning of freshman year, when I was still a political science major, but then I switched to psychology and thought I wanted to do research for a while. It wasn't until last year that I really got serious about applying to law school. It's a big commitment, and I'm glad I'm here now. But I didn't feel confident in my decision until right before I started."

"It's actually comforting to hear that," Jaehyun says. "It kind of takes the pressure off to know that not everyone has it all figured out."

"No one has it all figured out," Doyoung says gently. "And anyone who says they do is probably lying. But it seems like you've been doing some self-reflection recently and are being honest with yourself about what you want. That's a really valuable thing that not everyone has the courage to do."

Jaehyun blushes again at the praise, fighting the urge to grin. He's surprised at the compliment, honestly. It's a good kind of surprise, but he didn't expect Doyoung to be so insightful and friendly, given the awkwardness of their interaction in the library.

"You'll find your way," Doyoung continues. "It sounds like you already are. My brother always says that if something is meant for you, it won't miss you. It all depends on what you believe, I guess, but it's a comforting thought and I've found it to be true more often than not."

Jaehyun nods in agreement. "I like that idea."

There's a comfortable pause, before Jaehyun remembers why they're both here.

"Sorry, I swear I started out talking about my paper," he apologizes. "I didn't mean to get sidetracked."

Doyoung waves him off once again. "Not at all. I enjoyed our conversation very much, actually."

"Me too."

The smile that Doyoung gives him is soft and sweet, almost fond, and Jaehyun's heart melts a little. This is perhaps the most relaxed he's ever seen the other man. Except maybe when they were laughing and cuddling during sex, but Jaehyun stops himself right there before he goes too far down memory lane. 

Neither of them say anything, but Jaehyun wonders if Doyoung is thinking the same thing he is.

_Maybe we can be friends, when all of this is over_.

For the first time in a while, Jaehyun allows himself to hope.

***

After their study date, which Jaehyun has to remind himself was not actually a date, the subtle tension that was lingering between them subsides. He doesn’t quite know how to label their relationship, but he feels comfortable using the term friendly acquaintance now. On days when Doyoung does show up to his psychology lecture, they exchange quick smiles to acknowledge each other's presence, and on the occasion where he runs into Doyoung on campus or at the coffee shop, the other boy will wave and sometimes stop to chat.

They're not friends, but Jaehyun thinks it's better than nothing.

He keeps busy with his studies, and the days slip by until it's almost the end of the semester. He starts attending meetings for an entrepreneur club on campus, goes to the gym several times a week, and continues his job search. On top of that, his Business Ethics professor agrees to be his senior project advisor next semester, so he basically feels unstoppable at this point.

"I must be in an alternate universe," Yuta muses one day when Jaehyun declines his invitation to go clubbing in favor of going to bed early. "Either that or you're glitching. Turning into a real adult and shit. I must say I'm slightly uncomfortable."

Jaehyun rolls his eyes. "One of us had to start making responsible decisions at some point."

"Fuck knows it wasn't going to be me," Yuta snorts.

Jaehyun likes to think he's growing into a positive role model for the youth, but during the week before finals, he finds that his capacity for good decision-making has apparently reached its limit for the time being.

Many of the bad decisions Jaehyun has made in his college career can be traced back to Taeyong, Yuta, and alcohol. Usually all at the same time. There was the time he got so drunk at Yuta's 21st birthday that he vomited all over the karaoke machine in the middle of belting out a Mariah Carey song that he _never_ would have been caught singing sober. Then there was the time Taeyong dragged them to a Halloween party, where he got sick from jello shots and missed his midterm the next day. This time, he's at a house party on a Thursday night even though he has class in the morning, because Taeyong had practically begged him to come.

"Johnny already invited you, it's not like you need me to be your wingman," Jaehyun had argued. "I'm tired as fuck and I have to wake up early tomorrow."

"Yeah, but I need people to hang out with whenever I get too overwhelmed by his big dick energy," Taeyong had whined.

"Johnny's our friend. Please never say that again."

He had almost wiggled his way out of the situation, but then Yuta had jumped on the peer pressure train, enticing him with the promise of alcohol. And well, Jaehyun has his weaknesses.

Technically, it's not even Johnny's party. One of his friends is hosting, so Johnny had invited Taeyong and by extension the rest of them. Taeil had work in the morning, and apparently more willpower than Jaehyun to say no to free alcohol, so the three of them — Taeyong, Yuta, and Jaehyun — find themselves showing up to a house several blocks across town at 10 pm on a Thursday night. It's not the first time Jaehyun's done something like this, and definitely one of the less wild experiences at that, but he feels old. Sue him, he's finally starting to realize the importance of eight hours of sleep.

A short guy with a beer in his hand answers the door. "Hi, who invited you?" he asks.

"We're Johnny's friends," says Yuta, and the guy's face lights up in recognition.

"Oh sick, come on in," he says. "Drinks are in the kitchen. I'm Ten, by the way."

They introduce themselves, and Ten smirks when Taeyong says his name.

"Ah, so you're the one Johnny's been talking about," he says. Taeyong turns bright red and mumbles something about going to get a drink.

"Do you live here?" Jaehyun asks as they make their way to the back of the house.

Ten nods. "Me and a few other friends. We do parties like this a couple times a semester, but usually nothing too crazy. We just wanted to have one last blowout before the semester ends."

There must be at least twenty to thirty people here, scattered throughout the kitchen, living room, and backyard. Several types of alcohol are lined up on the counter, and a Frank Ocean song is playing in the background. Jaehyun has been to crazier parties, but he kind of likes the vibe of this one so far. Fun yet still somewhat mellow, the type of party where he can get pleasantly drunk but he probably won't do anything that he'll regret the next day. Not too drunk though. God, he still has class tomorrow. Fuck.

They find Johnny sitting in a circle of chairs with some people in the backyard, playing a drinking game that Jaehyun is pretty sure they all outgrew in high school.

Johnny motions for them to come over, so they pull up chairs to join the circle, but end up being one short.

"Come here," Johnny tells Taeyong, pulling him onto his lap. Taeyong looks like he's on the verge of having a breakdown, but goes willingly.

Jaehyun and Yuta exchange a smirk.

"As if he needed us to wingman anyway," Jaehyun mutters.

Two of the girls in the circle introduce themselves as Sooyoung and Seulgi.

"We're Ten's roommates," Sooyoung says. "We keep him out of trouble."

"Most of the time," Seulgi teases, and they all laugh.

Truth or dare is the name of the game tonight. Jaehyun is dared to kiss Yuta, who wrinkles his nose before sticking his tongue down Jaehyun's mouth in a rather gross and unsatisfying way. He's glad when that's over. Seulgi gives another girl in the circle a lap dance, one guy admits that he gets off to hentai, and Johnny takes his shirt off to a chorus of hoots and hollers.

"That's all you got?" he snorts.

"We just wanted a view," Sooyoung smirks.

Taeyong looks utterly overwhelmed. Johnny pulls him back onto his lap, having stood up to remove his shirt, and Jaehyun swears Taeyong moans quietly.

Ew, fuck. Jaehyun is happy that Johnny finally seems to be giving Taeyong the attention that he so obviously wants, but he definitely doesn't want to see that. He takes a sip of his drink, and then another, and another. How long does he have to stay here again?

As the night progresses, the party seems to get a little louder and more crowded, although maybe that's just the alcohol talking. That's usually how it goes, though. People show up, then more alcohol shows up, and then even more people show up. A typical occurrence in college.

An hour goes by, at which point he's buzzed and more than a little bit over this party. The truth or dare circle has long since ended, and Jaehyun has no idea where his friends are. Johnny and Taeyong have disappeared to god knows where, and last he saw Yuta was taking a body shot off of some girl.

He's in the middle of wondering if now is an appropriate time to ditch and go home, when a drunk girl stumbles past him and trips, spilling what looks like a horrible concoction of jungle juice all over his shirt.

"Fuck," he groans, although there's no real heat behind it. To her credit, the girl apologizes quickly, although she's clearly too inebriated to register the full situation. He's not mad, but he is left standing with a wet shirt that is getting progressively stickier by the moment.

He finds Ten in the kitchen, pouring himself another drink.

"Oh shit, what happened to you?" Ten laughs.

"Some girl spilled her drink on me. Any chance I could borrow a shirt?"

"Let me see what I can do for you," Ten hums, leading him down a hallway. "I'm not sure if my clothes will fit you, since you have broad shoulders and are a bit bigger than me. Sooyoung and Seulgi won't have anything, but our other roommate might. He's not home yet, but I bet he won't mind."

Jaehyun peels his sticky shirt off, and Ten wolf whistles.

"Shit, I'd go to the gym with you if I thought I would look like that."

"I'm sure your body is fine as it is," Jaehyun mumbles, a little embarrassed.

"Oh I know," Ten replies cheerfully. "The boys I fuck like me small and pretty anyway."

"No one wants to hear about your sex life, Ten," a voice cuts in from behind them. "And what are you doing in my room?"

Jaehyun stiffens. He would know that voice anywhere. An involuntary blush starts to creep its way up his neck.

He turns around to meet Doyoung's piercing gaze.

Doyoung's eyes go wide, and he fails to hide the shock in his voice when he adds, "And what is Jaehyun doing here?"

"Oh, you two know each other?" Ten asks. "Cool. I'll leave you to it then." And with a waggle of his eyebrows, he sweeps out of the room.

An uncomfortable silence ensues.

"Some girl spilled her drink all over me," Jaehyun finally says. "Do you have a sweatshirt I can borrow?"

"A sweatshirt," Doyoung echoes faintly. He looks a little dazed. "Oh, sure, I guess." He ducks into his room and starts rummaging through his drawers.

The tension that had previously dissipated between them is now back full-force. Jaehyun feels it low in his gut. But it's different this time. Or rather, he sees it more clearly now for what it is.

Doyoung turns back around with a sweatshirt in hand. Jaehyun leans against the door with one arm propped against it and flexes his muscles ever so slightly.

Doyoung swallows hard.

Oh yes. There it is.

Maybe before, at the beginning of the semester, the tension had manifested in awkwardness, in the ensuing panic that occurred when they realized that they probably shouldn't have slept with each other. But not now. Jaehyun recognizes the look in Doyoung's eyes. It's the same look that he had fixed him with on the night they met.

Doyoung wants him.

It's an exhilarating realization.

One that is abruptly cut short by the remembrance that Doyoung has clearly shut him down already. Even if he's still attracted to Jaehyun, he's not going to do anything about it, and he probably doesn't want Jaehyun to do anything about it either.

But fuck, Jaehyun still wants him.

"Here, you can put this on," Doyoung says quietly, handing him a light blue hoodie. Jaehyun recognizes it as the same one he was wearing at the library study session all those weeks ago. The material is soft in his hands, and he catches a whiff of Doyoung's scent as he slips the jacket over his head. He wants to drown in it forever. God, he needs to get a grip.

"I didn't know you lived here," he apologizes. "Ten's friend invited me tonight. I swear I'm not trying to cross any lines with you."

"I believe you," Doyoung says. His voice is calm, but his body betrays him. He's biting his lip, looking anywhere but at Jaehyun, as if trying to exercise some sort of restraint. A part of Jaehyun can relate. The other part of him wishes that Doyoung would just pull him into his room and onto his bed, but Jaehyun cuts that train of thought off before he ventures into dangerous territory.

"Keep the sweatshirt for a while," Doyoung continues. "The color suits you."

Jaehyun looks up at him. Doyoung refuses to meet his eyes.

"Doyoung," he begins, but the other boy cuts him off.

"You should go enjoy the party," he says gently. "Goodnight, Jaehyun."

The door closes in his face.

He lets out a sigh, making sure no one is in the hallway, before he brings the sleeves of Doyoung's hoodie up to his nose. Doyoung smells of fresh soap and faint musk, and a shudder passes through his body as he recalls burying his face in Doyoung's neck as he got fucked within an inch of his life, the other man's scent completely overwhelming him as their bodies moved together.

He rejoins the party, more than a little shaken, and heads straight for the tequila bottle on the kitchen counter.

It's only when he gets home an hour later, drunk and confused and on the verge of collapse, that he realizes he forgot his shirt in Doyoung's room.

***

Finals week passes in a blur of stress and late night coffee runs.

His Wednesday psychology final is a rather anticlimactic event. The past two days have been spent cramming for this test, so he feels relatively confident on the material when he walks into the lecture hall. Because he happens to be sitting at the end of his row, Doyoung hands him a stack of exams to pass down to other students. His face remains neutral, but he leans down a little closer than necessary. Jaehyun stills.

"Good luck," Doyoung simply whispers, quickly moving down the aisle.

Walking out of the classroom after he finishes the final brings up a multitude of strange feelings for him. He wonders if he'll ever see Doyoung again, if it's finally time to let go and process the loss of what could have been, or if it's still worth it to hold onto any shred of hope now that Doyoung is no longer his TA.

"You need to get over this guy," Yuta says when Jaehyun recounts the story of his chance encounter with Doyoung at the party. He leans around Jaehyun to get a better look at himself in the mirror of their shared bathroom as he slips on a pair of earrings.

Jaehyun sighs. "I know."

His retelling had conveniently left out Doyoung's name, as well as the part about how he's Ten's roommate and Jaehyun's former TA. He had simply told Yuta that he ran into the same guy he's been hung up on all semester at the party. Doyoung had seemed intent on protecting his privacy, so Jaehyun has been extra careful about sharing too many details with his friends.

"Dude, seriously," Yuta shakes his head. "It's been an entire semester. Maybe the timing just wasn't right. I hate to see you so hung up on someone when you could be out meeting new people and living your best life."

"Well, that's what tonight is for, right?"

It's partially true. Jaehyun doubts that he's going to meet the love of his life at a seedy bar downtown one semester before he graduates, but he's open to the possibility. Ten had invited them to go see a local band that his friend Sicheng plays in to celebrate finals being over, and he and Yuta had agreed to have one last hurrah before they went home for the holidays.

"Wait, why did Ten invite us again?" Jaehyun asks. "I didn't know you guys were friends now."

"We've been friends ever since we hooked up at the party last week," Yuta smirks.

Jaehyun lets out an inhuman shriek. "What the fuck," he hisses. "Am I going to be fifth wheeling? You better not ditch me for a booty call tonight."

"No promises," Yuta leers.

When Yuta had told him yesterday about Ten's invitation, Jaehyun's mind had immediately gone to Doyoung. Would he be there? With all of his conflicting feelings, he still can't decide if he likes the idea or not. Sure, it might be his chance to see Doyoung in a social setting, without the uncomfortable weight of Doyoung's status as a TA hanging over them any longer. Or it could just make the night painfully awkward and torturous for both of them.

When Jaehyun had casually asked who was coming, Yuta had informed him that Ten, Johnny, and Taeyong were the only ones he knew of. No mention was made of any other people, roommates or otherwise. So Jaehyun had agreed, although he's still nervous about the possibility of seeing Doyoung tonight. Sure, he probably won't be there, but the universe has a funny way of surprising him when it comes to Doyoung.

He finishes parting his hair with a comb, adjusting his leather jacket as he double checks his appearance.

"You look ready to kill," says Yuta appreciatively. "C'mon, let's go."

The bar is crowded, which is to be expected on a Friday night. It's a grungy sort of place, a different vibe than their usual spot, with pictures that look like they were taken in the eighties plastered on the walls. Red pleather booths line the left side of the room, across from a bar with high-top stools and a sizable alcohol collection on the wall behind it. There’s a stage in the back of the room and a makeshift dance floor in the middle. It's a good set-up overall, certainly nothing fancy, but Jaehyun is prepared to have fun tonight.

That is, until he sees who's sitting in the booth next to Taeyong.

At this point, he's not even surprised. Deep down, a part of him was expecting this. The universe seems to be conspiring to bring them together. Either that, or the universe has a personal vendetta against Jaehyun and enjoys watching him suffer.

"Glad you guys could make it," Doyoung greets them from his spot at the end of the booth. He's wearing a white tight-fitting V-neck and the leather jacket that is the bane of Jaehyun's existence. His black hair is slightly parted to reveal his forehead, and Jaehyun's brain is refusing to compute the fact that this Doyoung and argyle sweater vest Doyoung are the same person. He wants to die.

"More like glad _you_ could make it," Ten interrupts and glares at his roommate. "I can't believe how long it took me to convince you to come tonight." Jaehyun's mind starts racing. Doyoung doesn't seem surprised to see him. Did he come knowing that Jaehyun would be here?

His brain is on overdrive, but he resists the urge to spontaneously combust and ends up just standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Yuta slides into the booth next to Ten, greeting him with a smirk and a kiss on the cheek. Taeyong exchanges an amused look with Jaehyun, who is busy internally panicking as Doyoung scoots over to make room at the other end of the booth. Jaehyun sits, and tries desperately to ignore Doyoung's eyes on him as he pretends to concentrate on the drink menu. This is starting to feel suspiciously like a triple date, but he’s not sure if his heart can handle that if Doyoung isn’t actually interested. 

"It's nice to meet you," Doyoung addresses Yuta this time. Yuta smiles amicably and agrees, although he does shoot Jaehyun a couple curious looks when nobody's looking, which Jaehyun pointedly ignores. Damn Yuta for being perceptive. Or maybe Jaehyun's just terrible at hiding that something is bothering him.

"I told Doyoung he had to come meet everyone tonight," Ten announces dramatically. "Besides, he's the only one of my roommates who still hasn't met Johnny, although fuck knows how since Johnny's always at our house."

"Well now he's met everyone so you can calm down," Johnny says, a smirk playing at his lips. "Although I must say, Doyoung, you do look slightly familiar." He catches Jaehyun's eye and his smirk deepens. Jaehyun's internal screaming intensifies.

He feels Doyoung tense up beside him at Johnny's seemingly innocuous remark. Not enough to catch the attention of anyone else at the table, but Jaehyun notices. When it comes to Doyoung, Jaehyun always notices.

"Maybe you've met him through Jaehyun?" Ten asks. "I forgot that you two know each other."

All eyes turn to Jaehyun.

"We had a class together last year," he lies, hoping the flush creeping up his neck doesn't give him away.

"Oh?" Taeyong arches an eyebrow. "I thought Doyoung was a grad student?"

"I am," Doyoung cuts in smoothly. "But I went here for undergrad too. That's why I'm still roommates with Ten.”

"Hey, don't act like you don't love me," Ten complains. They banter for a minute, but the conversation switches direction soon after, something Jaehyun is immensely thankful for.

As the evening progresses, Jaehyun begins to get more comfortable with the situation. Doyoung is nothing but calm and friendly, although sometimes his eyes linger on Jaehyun for a moment too long. Yuta starts grilling Taeyong and Johnny about their new relationship, Johnny asks Doyoung how he and Ten met—a truly thrilling story involving a lost puppy and a kiddie pool—and Ten tells everyone about Sicheng and his band, which gets Jaehyun excited about the upcoming music. 

Everything is fine, except Doyoung is close, too close. Jaehyun can feel the warmth radiating off his skin, and he feels hot under the collar. He thinks about the way Doyoung had looked at him last week—like he wanted him more than anything. Although he’s nervous about revisiting that memory, he’s curious if anything has changed between now and then. His internal panic has receded to a mild anxiety, which is much more manageable. So he decides to test the waters and give Doyoung a taste of what he’s missing out on. If he's wrong, if Doyoung wants to put his walls up again, then Jaehyun will respect his boundaries. And also probably never talk to him again, not out of anger from being rejected but simply out of sheer embarrassment.

Yuta, Ten, and Taeyong are currently arguing about which anime is superior, while Johnny simply watches them, shaking his head in amusement.

"My Hero Academia has it all," Yuta argues. "The character development in that show is unparalleled."

"Don't forget about One Piece, Taeyong counters. "Or Naruto."

They're clearly not paying attention to him, so Jaehyun shifts a little closer to Doyoung. Doyoung breathes in sharply as their thighs press together ever so slightly.

"For the record," he says lowly into Doyoung's ear, "I'm glad I could make it too."

Doyoung's eyes flash, but before he can say anything, the feedback from a microphone jolts them out of their conversation.

"I see Sicheng," Ten says excitedly.

A boy with short brown hair slings a guitar over his shoulder and greets the room, before the band bursts into their first song. People start to trickle out onto the dance floor as the energy in the room grows.

“Let’s dance,” Yuta says, and Jaehyun knocks back the rest of his drink before following his friends to join the crowd.

Sicheng’s band is called Vision, and they’re very good, to say the least. Even though they’re a local band without much of a following, they engage with the audience and keep their songs high-energy and danceable. Sicheng has a great voice, and Jaehyun finds himself jumping up and down even though he doesn’t know any of their music.

“Do you think Sicheng would be down for a threesome?” he hears Yuta ask Ten during a pause in the music. Vision has just finished one of their songs and is taking a short intermission. Jaehyun wrinkles his nose in disgust and turns around to give Yuta a death stare, but instead he bumps into Doyoung’s leather jacket. 

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Doyoung asks pleasantly. 

“Oh, yeah,” Jaehyun stutters. “The band is really cool.”

Doyoung hums his agreement. He hesitates for a moment, as if debating something in his mind. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asks unsurely.

Jaehyun’s heart rate speeds up as he thinks back to their conversation in the library, when he had asked Doyoung the same exact question, and Doyoung had very clearly shut him down. He certainly doesn’t seem to be doing that now. Quite the opposite, in fact.

A strange feeling hits him abruptly. He realizes that he has spent the entire semester either freaking out or pining about this situation, even tonight, and all of a sudden he decides that he’s kind of over it. Doyoung seems to be giving him an opportunity here. Maybe this is everything he’s been waiting for.

“Sure,” he grins, and Doyoung’s expression relaxes. “You can buy me a drink.”

They sit at the bar this time, in a far corner where the music isn't quite as loud and their friends can't see them. Doyoung opens a new tab, separate from the obnoxiously high bill Jaehyun is sure his friends will rack up tonight.

"I'm glad you said yes to me buying you a drink," Doyoung says as the bartender hands them their cocktails.

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Because you're too cute to be drinking alone," Doyoung grins, echoing Jaehyun's first words to him. Jaehyun nearly chokes on his straw.

Jesus Christ.

So this is how it's gonna be.

"I'll have you know that I am no longer suffering from an existential crisis, and am not currently in need of a distraction," Jaehyun plays along. "But I suppose you can be my drinking buddy tonight."

Doyoung looks delighted.

"Which one?" 

"What?"

"Which existential crisis are you no longer having," Doyoung clarifies.

"Well, I have a few job interviews lined up for after the holidays that I'm actually quite excited about, so I'm not really freaking out about graduation anymore."

"Oh Jaehyun, that's wonderful," says Doyoung earnestly. "I'm really happy you're finding your way."

Jaehyun blushes.

"What about the second existential crisis?" he continues.

The second existential crisis?

_Well, my thought process was that I could have an existential crisis about how cute you are, or I could go back to my original existential crisis about how I'm starting my last year of college and I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life, so I figured you were probably the safer bet_.

Oh.

The second existential crisis.

"Hmm, I think the jury's still out on that one," he teases. "I must say, the leather jacket is definitely not helping."

A satisfied smirk crosses Doyoung's face. "Speaking of jackets," he says casually, "you still have mine."

"I do," Jaehyun confirms. "I also left my shirt at your house last week."

Doyoung fixes him with an unreadable stare. "Well," he says eventually, "I did tell you that you could keep my jacket for a while, but I'm sure you want your shirt back."

"I do."

"You can come over and get it tonight, if you want."

"Oh can I come get it?" Jaehyun snorts. That _was_ an innuendo, right?

"If you want," Doyoung repeats.

"And if I do want?"

"Then what are we waiting for?"

Jaehyun excuses himself to the bathroom while Doyoung closes out their tab. He just needs to escape for a few minutes. Taking a moment to wrap his head around everything that is happening, he leans against the wall by the hand dryers and pulls out his phone to text Yuta.

**Jaehyun**  
_so like_

_hypothetically if Doyoung was the guy I hooked up with at the beginning of the semester except we couldn't date because he ended up being the TA for one of my classes but now he's no longer my TA and I think he just invited me over to bang could you and ten go fuck in your room instead of ten's so we have some alone time_

_lol hypothetically of course_

**Yuta**  
_first of all, we're going to sicheng's so moot point_

_second of all, literally what the fuck_

**Jaehyun**  
_haha love you too ok bye_

He pockets his phone and turns to find Taeyong opening the door.

"I wondered where you disappeared to," his friend says. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm actually about to head out though."

"So soon?"

"Well, Doyoung's coming with me."

Taeyong's expression doesn't change. "I see."

"You don't look surprised."

"I'm not blind Jaehyun," Taeyong laughs. "I know I've been a little MIA lately since Johnny and I started dating, but I do notice things."

"It's complicated," Jaehyun rubs his neck sheepishly.

"Are you going to uncomplicate it?"

"I think that's the goal for tonight."

"Good. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Jaehyun whispers. Taeyong pulls him into a hug.

"Go get your man," he says. "And don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Well that's not a very long list," Jaehyun retorts. Taeyong scoffs and pushes him out the door.

He makes a quick detour to say goodbye to the rest of his friends, who mercifully don't ask too many questions.

"We're not done talking about this," Yuta hisses in his ear. Jaehyun smiles innocently and pretends not to hear him.

Doyoung is waiting for him at the bar, and a small smile graces his face as he and Jaehyun step out into the chilly air. It's winter in the city to be sure, but Jaehyun doesn't get cold easily. The wind that blows through the city streets is energizing instead of miserable, and he imagines that the stars would look beautiful against the December sky if they were visible amidst the light pollution. 

"It's a beautiful night," Doyoung says softly. "Do you want to walk? My house isn't too far away. If we get cold or tired we can always hail a taxi."

So they walk. Doyoung tells him about his first semester of law school, and about the podcasts he's listening to.

Jaehyun snorts. "Of course you listen to podcasts."

Doyoung's expression morphs into one of mock offense. "Hey, what is that supposed to mean?"

He learns that Doyoung is a film buff as well, although his busy schedule doesn't permit for a lot of movie-watching. In return, Jaehyun tells him that he's learning the guitar, and about his obsession with curating Spotify playlists for every mood. His heart feels warm at the way Doyoung's face lights up when Jaehyun lists his all-time favorite movies — they share the same taste, apparently.

He's so engaged in their conversation that he barely even notices when they walk up the steps to Doyoung's house.

"Are your other roommates home?" he manages to ask as Doyoung pulls out his key.

"No, they went home to spend the holidays with their families earlier this week."

So they really are alone. Fuck.

As they step into the foyer of Doyoung's house, Jaehyun realizes that he's not sure what comes next. Is this the part where they kiss? Should they just talk about things? A shadow of doubt crosses his mind. Or did Doyoung really just want him to get his shirt and leave?

"Wait here," Doyoung says before disappearing into his room. He offers no further explanation, so Jaehyun just stands there a little awkwardly and waits.

Doyoung is gone for a suspiciously long time. It can't be more than five minutes, but how long does it really take to grab a shirt? He feels a familiar knot of anxiety start to build in his chest.

When Doyoung returns, he's empty-handed.

Jaehyun’s brow furrows. “Where’s my shirt?”

Doyoung takes a step closer. 

Jaehyun feels his breath hitch involuntarily.

"I was emailing Professor Lee the exam results from your class."

"Why?"

Doyoung looks at him, eyes ablaze. "So that I could do this."

And then his lips are on Jaehyun's, pulling him into a scorching kiss.

The kiss turns hot and urgent fast, too much pent up tension between them, and Jaehyun moans into Doyoung's mouth as he lets himself get swept up in the sensations. 

"What happened to treating me like a student?" he gasps against Doyoung's lips.

"Fuck that," Doyoung says in between kisses. "You're not my student anymore. Literally fuck that."

"Fuck me."

"Yeah," Doyoung captures his lips once again. "Yeah, okay."

It doesn’t take them long to make it to the bedroom. Clothes are quickly tossed on the floor, and Jaehyun can’t believe this is actually happening. He’s spent so long fantasizing about this moment, and now that it’s here he’s having trouble processing that he gets to witness Doyoung’s beauty, that the boy in front of him wants him too. 

“You have no idea how many existential crises I had because of you this semester,” Doyoung hisses as he pulls Jaehyun into his lap. “And you looked so good in my jacket, fuck. I wanted you so bad.”

“Thought about it,” Jaehyun whispers. “Thought about you fucking me in your jacket, riling me up wearing nothing but your clothes. Wanted it too.” 

Doyoung practically snarls as he drags Jaehyun down for another kiss. Their bodies tangle together in a desperate need for closeness as they rut shamelessly against each other. He tugs at Doyoung’s lip, feels the other boy’s hitch of breath, the way his grip tightens around Jaehyun’s waist as Jaehyun kisses him like he’s starving. Every touch burns in the best way. Jaehyun feels like his whole body is on fire.

Doyoung finds a packet of lube in the drawer of his nightstand. He slicks himself up and gets a hand on both of their cocks, fisting them together. Their foreheads press together, too keyed up to properly kiss. Jaehyun lets his eyes flutter shut and just surrenders to the overwhelming experience that is sex with Doyoung. He’s still not entirely sure this is real. It’s just a handjob, for god's sake, but every flick of Doyoung’s wrist sends a shudder down his whole body.

It’s not long before Doyoung’s movements slow. “Baby,” Doyoung murmurs, “Baby, I’m not gonna last long tonight. Want you too much. How do you want to do this?”

Jaehyun feels a warm shiver ripple throughout his body at the return of the pet name. “Actually, I was thinking I could fuck you this time, if you’re into it.”

“Yeah,” Doyoung breathes. “Yeah, I’m into it.” 

Jaehyun preps him slowly, one finger at a time. Doyoung is tight and hot, clenching around his fingers as he fucks him open. It’s wet and messy, lube dripping everywhere, but Doyoung doesn’t seem to care. He writhes under Jaehyun’s touches, and when Jaehyun curls his fingers upward, he nearly screams. 

“I’m ready, baby. Fuck me, please, I can take it.” 

Doyoung reaches over to grab a condom from the same drawer as the lube. He notices Jaehyun’s smirk, and catches on. “Yes, unlike you, I actually keep condoms in my bedroom,” he snorts. Jaehyun just laughs. 

The first press of his cock to Doyoung’s rim is tentative. Doyoung says he hasn’t bottomed in a while, so Jaehyun takes extra care not to hurt him. He pushes in slowly, letting the other boy adjust and bottom out. 

"Holy shit, you feel so good," Jaehyun breathes. His cock aches, and Doyoung makes an impatient sound underneath him.

"I appreciate you wanting to be gentle," Doyoung grits out, "but right now I need you to fuck me. Hard."

"But it's so much more fun to tease," Jaehyun murmurs as he slips halfway out of Doyoung's ass. The other boy honest to god whines, hole clenching around the tip of his cock that remains.

"I swear to fucking god Jaehyun," Doyoung growls. "If you don't fuck me right now—"

Jaehyun slams into him, and for a moment he wonders if this is what heaven is like. It's hot and wet and perfect, everything he's fantasized about and more. Doyoung keens, clutching his shoulders as Jaehyun thrusts into him. He angles his cock to hit just the right spot, and Doyoung's fingernails dig into his back. Jaehyun fucking loves it.

It doesn't take long to reduce Doyoung into a whimpering mess below him. They're both drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. Doyoung's hair is pushed off his face, eyes fluttering shut as he loses himself in pleasure. At some point, his neck becomes littered in hickeys that Jaehyun barely remembers giving him.

"Look at you, just taking my cock," he hisses. "Wanted to tell everyone you were mine."

"Yours now," Doyoung gasps. "Just yours."

His words are music to Jaehyun's ears.

He fucks hard and deep into Doyoung's ass, whispering honeyed words as their hips meet. They're both so wound up, desperate from months of holding themselves back.

"Do you think you can come untouched?"

Doyoung nods, barely able to speak. His arms fall to his sides as he moans and lets the sensations overtake him.

"Let me see you cum," Jaehyun begs. He pistons his hips forward a few more times before Doyoung screams, cum spurting from his leaking cock and landing on his stomach. It doesn't take long for Jaehyun to follow, rendered speechless by the sounds falling from Doyoung's lips and the tightness of Doyoung clenching around his cock.

"Baby," Doyoung whispers. "Holy fuck. I think you broke me."

They’re too tired to move, but eventually the uncomfortable feeling of drying cum outweighs their exhaustion. Jaehyun makes a quick trip to the bathroom to grab a washcloth. He gingerly cleans them up, before getting back into bed next to Doyoung.

He knows they need to talk, but he doesn’t want to be hasty and ruin the moment.

They languish comfortably in the quiet, catching their breaths and trading brief kisses.

"I feel like I owe you an explanation," Doyoung says at last.

"You were a TA who was put in an awkward position," Jaehyun counters. "Technically, you don't owe me anything."

Doyoung shakes his head in disagreement. "Maybe," he says gently, "but everything I said tonight wasn’t just sex talk. I think you deserve to know that I couldn't stop thinking about you all semester."

Jaehyun's heart flutters. "Oh?"

"That's why I shut you down as firmly as I did. I knew if I didn't draw a clear line between us, I would just drag you into my bed again."

"I wanted you to."

"Exactly," Doyoung snorts. "But here's the thing." He grows serious for a moment. "You didn't push my boundaries. You listened when I said no. Not all guys would do that. And you still talked to me and treated me normally after what happened between us. I really respect you Jaehyun," he says quietly. "I know we still have a lot to learn about each other, but I'm serious about getting to know you better."

They sit in silence for a minute, as Jaehyun processes his words. It's overwhelming, if Jaehyun is honest with himself. It's everything he's wanted to hear for the last four months and more.

"I don't know what to say," he finally responds. "From the moment I saw you I knew I wanted you. Not being able to have you and wanting you anyway was really difficult. But I respect you too," he says honestly. "As much as I wish I would've known about your feelings, you didn't compromise your integrity for me or lead me on when we couldn't be together. You kept your boundaries strong and let yourself trust that if I was meant for you, I wouldn't miss you."

"And do you think you're meant for me?" Doyoung questions.

"I hope so."

"Me too," Doyoung says softly.

They kiss sweetly, and Jaehyun wraps his arms around Doyoung as the other boy snuggles into his chest. Yeah, cuddling is going to become a frequent thing from now on. Jaehyun can't get enough of the way Doyoung fits perfectly in his embrace.

"Look at us, already turning into domestic saps," he snorts. "We haven't even gone on a proper date yet and we're already like this. Our friends are going to hate us."

"They already hate us," Doyoung rolls his eyes. "Besides, I know where our first date can be." He points to the bathroom.

Jaehyun groans, not wanting to move.

"Come on darling," Doyoung laughs fondly. "Let's shower."

***

Jaehyun wakes up to an empty bed. In his sleepy haze, he forgets whose house he's at, and freaks out for a minute before he remembers that Doyoung definitely didn't leave him alone at his own house. Throwing on boxers and his shirt from last night, he makes a pit stop in the bathroom to splash some water on his face before wandering over to the kitchen. Doyoung is humming to himself as he cracks an egg open over a pan, and Jaehyun nuzzles into his neck and wraps his arms around the other boy's waist from behind.

"Good morning," he murmurs into Doyoung's skin. Doyoung's grip around his waist tightens, before he turns around to drape his arms around Jaehyun's neck.

"Did you sleep well, baby?"

Jaehyun nods sleepily. "I have to pack to go to my parents' house soon," he mumbles. "But I don't wanna leave yet."

They trade kisses in front of the stove while the eggs cook. They're nothing more than light pecks, but Jaehyun's heart feels warm all the same. He wants to stand here forever, basking in Doyoung's calm presence and the soft morning light.

"Aw, how sweet." Ten is standing in the entryway, a smirk gracing his face, clearly not sorry about interrupting their moment of peace.

"A little privacy would be nice," Doyoung sighs, not moving from his position wedged between Jaehyun and the counter.

"Yes, well, I'm here on official business. Yuta has urgent messages for both of you. Jaehyun, for the love of god please check your phone since you haven't responded to his last twelve messages and he won't stop complaining. Doyoung, if you hurt Jaehyun, be prepared for castration."

"Get lost, Chittaphon," Doyoung snaps.

Ten just cackles as he retreats to his bedroom.

Doyoung laughs as he leans into Jaehyun once more.

"He's ridiculous, but I have to keep him around because of it. Keeps things interesting."

They take their (now overcooked) eggs to the table, and spend the morning talking about their plans for winter break. Jaehyun has a train ticket to the countryside to spend the holidays with his parents, while Doyoung is staying here save for the few days he'll spend at his parents house for Christmas.

They probably won't be able to see each other over the break, but Doyoung starts planning their first date anyways, and Jaehyun blushes as Doyoung muses about how he always wanted to take a boy ice skating.

He remembers fantasizing about this, longing for a different reality where Doyoung wasn't his TA and they could be something. Anything.

Parallel universes are great, probably. The hopeless romantic in him would like to believe that he and Doyoung would end up together in every single one of them.

But how lucky he is that he gets to kiss Doyoung in this one too.

**Author's Note:**

> wow that got sappy at the end lol this had more pining than intended but i'm me so like,,, no surprises there. anyways, petition for doyoung to be my college boyfriend please and thank you.
> 
> in all seriousness, i am both a slow writer and a perfectionist, so this took me way longer than it should have. i'm not completely satisfied with it but i hope i did this trope justice and that you enjoyed this story!
> 
> thank you for reading ♡
> 
> edit 9/6/2020: yuwinten threesome is now available [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26328538).


End file.
